härra tiigri tegemised: juuni 2013

This post I have wanted to write already long time. Just to remember what I (or we) have experienced while living in Bratislava. Mostly it's my experiences as a mother living in another country, but perhaps something else as well? Lets see.
Basically, as in every country, you will experience lot's of negatives and lot's of positives. They will give the country it's own face, personality, attitude, feeling. It is never just good or bad, it is a range of colours - some days they are more of a blue and some days more of a yellow.
I don't know if my experiences differ from experiences felt by tourists. Perhaps from some point of view, but I cannot really say that I have been integrated. I probably haven't really wanted to integrate and then it hasn't been also easy to integrate. Is it ever?
So here we go. I'll start with positives.
Number one is definetely the sun. I hope that all slovaks know how lucky they are to see the sun so often! To have beautiful weather so often! It has been really wonderful to live in Slovakia with a small child - to go pramming (kocikovat?) every day or to go to the playgrounds. In my first year (and in our son's first year of life) we had to go out up to 4 times per day - as one little baby refused to sleep in his bed and slept only in the pram. I was sitting hours and hours outside, reading books in the warm sun or searching for the shadow during heat waves. Summer months can unfortunately get too warm, it can be up to 40 degrees for days and weeks. This is definetely hard to experience as the flats and houses heat up to 28 degrees, which makes it hard to cook and sleep in there.
Number two is the people and their attitude towards children. Usually once or twice every single day we are greeted by some strangers during our walks outside, who will talk to my son, praise him or compliment him and smile to us. People like children! I am used to smile to strangers in here, to tell them hello or goodbye or exchange some small talk. I could probably spend much more time talking with random people outside, if I could talk to them in slovak (as most of them don't speak English, most likely none of them speaks Estonian and most of them run fast when I start a conversation in English).
Thirdly I think Bratislava is quite child-friendly city. You have lots of nice playgrounds, big and small, many events made for kids, many inside playgrounds for free or for small fee to enter, ice-cream kiosks during summertime, children can travel free of charge until the age of 5, etc. And I really appreciate the drivers of public transport, who always wait for us when we are too slow or running from a distance. In Estonia drivers like to close the doors in front of you if you are too slow - so this is a nice change! And sellers often give to my son an apple, apricot, strawberry, pieces of salami or pack of candies for free in the markets.
Going to negatives now. First thing everybody will notice in Bratislava is how dirty it is. And really, Tallinn is also dirty, but I think and hope that not so much! There is trash everywhere - really everywhere! Under the trees, bushes, on the streets... Wherever I am walking (and I do walk a lot), it just makes me sad! And angry as well. Why is it so hard to put the leftovers of food and bottles, cans, plastic bags, cigarettes etc to the trashbin? All the garbage outside is just disgusting. And even more - is it really so hard to clean after dogs? Basically we have to jump over the dog poo-s or walk with circles on the streets. They are left everywhere, and really not just to the grass (which is full of the shit), but the streets as well. Doesn't it disturb others or is it ok to just walk inside the shits for Slovaks?
Second thing is the traffic culture. Or more precisely missing traffic culture. I really wonder for whom in Bratislava Zebra crossing places are made, as no car ever lets you to cross there! Even more, they can give a signal to you or as today, almost hit you while you are crossing the road in Zebra. No matter if you go there with the pram, with small toddler, in the daylight or in the evening. How is it possible that normal people turn into some kind of madmen while driving the cars? And not only the Zebra - people really don't care about the traffic lights as well. Several times we have started to cross the road with a green light in pedestrian traffic light and some crazy person has drove through the obviously red traffic light! So no matter what light is on, you can go only when the cars are actually already standing still. And then you have to run fast, as the light will be green for you about 3 seconds and then thats it. Even if I walk fast, I don't manage to cross the road with green light! But if I walk with a child, I just have to grab him, hope that we will survive and run to the other side. Not positive at all!
Third thing, and most difficult for me to get used to, is the playground culture and the way the people seem to raise their children. Most of the kids we meet in playgrounds and playcorners have no limits, no boundaries. They can do whatever they want, unless someone is crying and it draws the parent's attention. Parents are usually sitting somewhere together, chatting with each other and paying no attention to the kids. Which means that 90% of the time I have trouble with Slovak kids - either they are taking toys from my child's hand without asking for that, or they are violent, or they even go to have a look inside my personal belongings in search for some toy to play with - and their parents do nothing about it. As if children have a right to behave however they want with nobody telling them what is right and what is wrong. I understand that children have to learn about sharing, but definetely not in the way that the biggest ones and most agressive ones just come and take (using often violence to get it) or just get their wanting with screaming louder. Sometimes parents are kind enough to ask to borrow the toys, but many times not. The same goes for agressive behaviour amongst kids - as parents are somewhere far and dealing with their own things (often the thing is their telephone), the kids are hitting, punching, scratching etc each other and it is a normality I see here (for what grown-ups dont intervene). Which unfortunately is a normality from adults as well - to hit or slap the child, to shake the child or to otherwise use physical abuse. It is really sad thing to see.
It is also pity that many people are afraid to communicate in English and many don't speak any foreign language at all. TV channels are all translated to Slovak (or Czech), for example within some 100 international channels we have at home just 3 are left in English (which makes it very hard to even learn English for people, I think). Many people are not used to hear it and even if they can speak it, they rather not. So it is hard to make a basic conversation with them, harder to find slovak friends. Even in the city centre there are many restaurants where you might get served only in slovak (or in body language).
Which brings me to the serving culture. Whoaa, that is really something. Basically in Slovakia if you are sitting in any counter as a customer service, you are the king, the big boss! You can be as slow as you want, as rude as you want and make your own rules! And people are cueueing, humbly asking you to help them or do something for them. It is still in many ways like it was during Soviet Union (not that I remember much of it). I have been yelled at in a foodstore as I forgot to scale my grapes. I have heard horror stories about cueues in post offices and train stations and the rudeness of the workers in there. I have been cueueing 30 minutes to enter the open air pool, where only one ticket seller was working in the speed of the snail, really. Of course bank cards are not acceptable in many of those places and you might get into trouble for not having a precise money. And I understand that the most terrible place to go is the foreign (alien) police (where all foreigners have to go if staying here longer than 2 weeks). Foreigners from other member states are sitting there humbly for hours waiting for their turn, filling out application for temporary or permanent residence permit (in slovak ofcourse), then they are treated as they have come here to steal away all slovak money and the funniest is that workers there speak mostly only slovak! The national facility dealing with internationals is not capable to use foreign languages. But wait only until once I will write about giving birth in Slovakia - have heard many stories about it and really want to share it once!
Some positive for a change - the cost of a meal is quite cheap. It is very popular to eat outside, lunch or dinner and you can get a meal consisting soup, main course, dessert and drink for 3-4 euros! There are lots of pubs in the city, the food is often big and delicious (and fatty) and luckily slovakia has forbidded smoking inside the pubs (unless it's a special area), which gives them a big plus in front of Czech Republic (where you are still eating from an ashtray basically). And the beer is very cheap - cheaper than coke or juice or even water. It is not considered as alcoholic drink (by many people) so it is normal to have it next to lunch during working hours.
And the last for today's post - if you are working in Slovakia and getting ill (taking a sick-leave), then your workplace or social services can come and control that you are staying at home! I couldn't believe it when I heard it but apparently you can ask your doctor to give you sickleave with outing (which gives you the right to be outside from 8-10 am and 4-6 pm usually) or no outing at all. So they have some special people in workplaces who go and check that the employees are really sick and staying at home (not having parties and taking sunbaths I guess). And I really wonder how doctors feel about it - when they have basically diagnosed the person to be sick then seems that they cannot be trusted as well. I think that describes in general the mentality of majority - people are in some ways so controlled or have to obey (to the big boss in the workplace or to the big boss in the train station), which makes them of course quite rebellious and searching for alternatives (or one might say cheating). You cannot have an honest loyal citizen if you treat him with rude distrust. You cannot have a positive and motivated environment if you don't give support and care. That's what I think.

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laupäev, 29. juuni 2013

experiences from Bratislava

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